World Cup in brief

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Whakatane man claims "I'd be as good an All Black as Robinson"
Retired farmer Rob Sweeny today laid down the gauntlet to All Black lock Keith Robinson, who has battled injury for much of this World Cup. "All Robinson's done so far is walk around in a tracksuit and talk to reporters about his leg. I can do that" claimed Sweeny. "I can stand on a scrum machine, get on and off a bus and walk by the pool with me shirt off. No farkin' worries". When informed Robinson has been providing tactical insight to fellow locks Ali Williams and Chris Jack, Sweeny responded "Even better, bring it on".

Christchruch man struggles to recall what Justin Marshall said in paper.
Early on Sunday morning in the Backout bar, engineering student Daniel McNiven came up short in his attempt to totally blow away fellow student Callum Hedley's contention that Graham Henry's rotation policy would pay dividends. "I'd read Marshy in the paper saying that Henry wasn't letting combinations develop and consequently, when the players are in pressure situations, that could cause crucial mistakes that'll cost us dearly on on both attack and defence. I can remember now, but when I needed it, all that came out was 'Combinations... fuck'". When pressed, McNiven confirmed alcohol may have played a role in his recollection failure.