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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Office workers worrying about World Cup woes, not working

SRNZPA: A recent trough in New Zealand offices' productivity levels is being attributed to the All Blacks' recent form and their chances in the upcoming Rugby World Cup according to a recent survey. Pollster Fred Britten said "Our survey shows the average New Zealander in an office environment thinks about Rugby every 6 seconds. That's second only to food. Work comes waaaaaay down the list right after 'I wonder what happened to that funny looking guy in high school. You know, that guy.'".

"I just can't be arsed. Doing any actual work holds about as much appeal as driving to Bluff with Stu Wilson" said Hamilton accounts receivable clerk John 'Wiggo' Wigg. "Seriously, how can they expect me to process historic invoices when there's no settled pairing in the centres? That's grounds for a PG right there."

'Talking about the weekend's game' 'Worrying' and 'Fucking around on the Internet' all polled higher than 'Work' in office workers' daily activities. In extreme cases, workers are taking annual leave for personal reconditioning programmes, consisting of 'breaking in' new Plasma TVs and burying fears deep, deep down underneath oceans of cheap draught beer.

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