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Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts

Friday, December 28, 2007

Mount Maunganui cycle criterium



Normally Maunganui Road in late December is all rotary engines, hormones, and old farts of 34 shaking their heads smugly at the youth of today. Last night, they made room for muscly calves, European lycra and cool looking bikes sharking around warming up for the Bike Barn's criterium series, with cyclists racing around a 1 kilometre course for 30 minutes, plus three laps.

It's fast racing, and tight courses with tricky corners means there's high potential for crashes. There was a good size crowd enjoying cheering the riders on as we caught the elite Woman's race and the start of the Men's, high speeds and jostling for position create a real spectacle. SHIT they move. Auckland's had events in Newmarket and Takapuna previously, and despite a good two minutes Googling, I can't find details for this year. Check local guides for times, as they say. Recommended.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fly My Pretties drummer compares tats with Lord of the Rings AD at Phoenix game - Wellington disappears in apocalypse of how awesome it is



"Our thoughts and prayers are with the Flight of the Concords tonight" said Mayor Prendergast from the wreckage.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Parts of New Zealand ruined forever by Doug Howlett




Walking on deserted beaches



The Mirror Lakes



The big L&P bottle



Sheep traffic jams



Moving to a lifestyle block for an easier pace of life

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Doing the thinking for you



It's nice of the good folk at Waikato stadium to do the maths for you - it can be real tricky after a few cans, alright.

Monday, August 13, 2007

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!!!




What was the top story on the New Zealand Herald's homepage at 1.30PM Monday 13 August? New Zealand's nationally distributed and widely read newspaper published out of our biggest city?

A long retired Wallaby player reassures the nation about our biggest collective fear - the All Blacks won't choke.

What will the evening edition bring? Martin Johnson saying Dan Carter and Richie McCaw are highly unlikely to accidentally kick each other in the bollocks in the first five minutes of the final? Janie De Beer saying "Go to sleep and dream little Kiwis, every thing will be alright. Everything will be alright"?

I love this country.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Not Sport: SRNZ Top 5 New Zealand albums



This month is NZ Music Month - here's my top five local albums for what it's worth.

5. Bailter Space - Robot World. All I had to do when I was at Uni was stand in one spot (well, a few, technically) while all sorts of marvelous bands played at the Student Union and the Hilly for not a lot of dosh. All I had to do was wear band T-shirts and Doc Martins. And sometimes a cardigan. Bailter Space were farkin cool, though - no band I ever saw was louder. You could have sworn there were more than three of them.

4. 3D's - Swathy Songs for Swabs / Fish Tails. The 3D's are another big live fav. These two EPs win over their albums for me, just 'cos they're pretty raw and reminded me of the live shows. Nothing makes any sense on these EPs. In a good way.

3. Phoenix Foundation - Pegasus. My number one NZ band that's still going. Pegasus is a local Pet Sounds I reckon, there's a lot of heart to these songs, and they sound like they're having loads of fun, which I love. I really get into the first PF album and Luke Buda and Sam Scott's solo albums too.

2. Straightjacket Fits - Melt. We had a party in the last year of Uni, and some dickhead stole my Stone Roses, Crooked Rain, and Melt LPs. The others I've replaced but NO-ONE's got Melt on vinyl these days. Not when it's one of the most epic, grand and huge albums ever. I still want revenge.


1. Bressa Creeting Cake - Bressa Creeting Cake. A FUCK of an album. An Early Microscope, Rocky Mountain, Palm Singing are all brilliant tunes, but there's not a trace of filler here - this is one of the most dense albums I've ever heard. There's a lot of Goldenhorse's sweetness here combined with the most thoughtfully random lyrics around. Highly, highly recommended.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Links on Friday



- Dropkicks Podcast - If you haven't already, check out the Dropkicks podcast, a run through of the week's sporting action in a 'mates sitting around talking shit' kinda way. Last episode saw the lads engage in a Mee Goreng eating competition while making their picks. Recommended, both spicy noodle dishes and the Dropkicks. You can even thrash them in the Super 14 picking if you fancy it - I'm 'richirvine73' if you need another easybeat on your list
- Rugby Dump - I found this link on the above website - it's basically a blog of youtubed high tackles, stiff arms and fights, the web equivalent of legendary 80's VHS Footy Brawls
- Shane Warne in SloMo - 'cos we miss that peroxided scallywag already
- Matt Sinclair's catch - super stuff
- Billitees - They're a little pricey, but. I just got the Hamiltron one, it's rather nice
- Glen & Garry & Glen & Ross - Har
- Talking on the phone while driving is now banned in the UK. Tough to enforce? Nah...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Fishy fishy




Fishy fishy, originally uploaded by richirvine73.


I hauled this one out of the harbour this morning before work. I think I'll call him Nathan Bracken.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Annoying bloke in pub talks you through the Black Caps World Cup squad




G'day Mate. Here by yourself? Same here.

What are ya reading? The paper? I don't bother, eh.

Got the sports section? Didja see they announced the Cricketers for the World Cup? Pack of girls, yinnow.

Shit, I've got pie on me.

The Aussies bloody laugh at us. Mate, they've got guys averaging 300 in domestic cricket that can't make the team, yinnow? And a guy that bowls at 200 Ks. I'm moving to the Gold Coast next year, my cousin reckons it's choice. Piss is cheaper there, eh. You get all the rugby on TV, too. You're quiet, eh mate?

Tuffey got picked. Fark's sake. Remember when he bowled that over for 38 at Eden Park? Farkin' embarrassment. I could do better. You should've seen me in high school. Would've made First XI but for that FX82 going missing. Fark you like reading that paper, eh? Mate?

Quizzers with attitude



This lot, known as Katz FB...

...won the jackpot and a $175 bar tab in the Pub Quiz last night for knowing that Dolly Parton wrote 'I Will Always Love You', Richard Adams wrote 'Watership Down' and that Jack Dempsey is the Manassa Mauler.

And we did it all by being stupid.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Just Capital




Two Wellington moments from today:
- I'm sure I saw an achingly hip Wellington muso in the New World car park. Just getting his groceries and that.
- We had an earthquake today, a 4.8. The locals laughed and told me anything under 5.5 was nothing to worry about.

Wellington Sevens round up



It's just a party. If you've ever watched the Wellington Sevens and wondered why the stands are mostly empty when the tickets sell out in twenty minutes, it's 'cos the crowd is all under the stands having a whale of a time.

What is it with dressing up, though? Watching Hurricanes matches from the Cake Tin, you always see a couple of muppets in the crowd in costume braving the pissing rain, make you wonder if you were there for the rugby or what. The Sevens, though, takes away all that bother about watching a game so you can fully concentrate on your get-up, and people go to huge efforts to outfit themselves and their mates in elaborate costumes. For the ladies, it was all about cleavage, with saucy policewomen, saucy taxi drivers, and saucy air stewardesses to the fore. But for the lads, it's all about lycra. Jesus, the lycra, there were super heroes, wrestlers, aerobic instructors, if it was slinky and it stretched, it was there, with everyone being obsessively photographed on cameras and phones. There were at least 40 Crocodile Hunters, some going with the controversial Sting Ray wound option. Star of the weekend was The Borat, a guy brave / foolish enough to wear that Lime green over the shoulder G-string down Lampton Quay to the match - he wound up on the front page of the Dominion Post with a follow up story on Waitangi day. Most impressive was the Gimp sitting in front of us on Saturday, promoting much speculation on logistics every time he nipped to the loo.

As for the rugby, well, most people don't bother to even start watching matches until late Saturday. In keeping with the spirit of the weekend, there was huge support for the under dogs, like Kenya and Portugal, who walked off with some trophy or other after beating Scotland. New Zealand looked like what they were - guys not good enough to be included in the Super 14 thrown together at the last minute, despite the best efforts of Titch and Eric Rush. The final was a huge boil-over, Fiji were looking skillful and very strong until they met the hard tacking Samoans, who gave them no space to work their magic at all.

The IRB sees Sevens as a way to promote the game without all that pesky rucking, mauling and having to watch Rugby for an hour and a half. While Sevens has more tradition than say, 20/20 cricket, in NZ the tournament is an excuse for a party, and for two days 30,000 odd people had a bloody good time, without a hint of trouble that I saw, and you can't say fairer than that. The Cake Tin is a superbly appointed and located venue - we were out of the stadium and having a drink on the waterfront about half an hour after the final whistle. If you're not bothered about watching Rugby, the Sevens is a highly recommended experience, in New Zealand's best city for a weekend away.


Bring out the Gimp.

Borats. Note the traumatised child bottom right.

I got 'interviewed' by the One Network News team, who were quite a larf. They don't like Judy Bailey, though.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Sevens action Live!



Sevens action Live!




Here's a ham-fisted attempt at 'live-blogging' on my shiny new Nokia 6275 phone. I think the pics came out nice, but I'm disturbed that my phone's megapixel count is fast catching up on my three year old 'actual camera'!

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Southhead Golf Club...




Picture message, originally uploaded by richirvine73.

...has some marvellous views of the Kaipara harbour.
Go play it.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Links on Friday



- Ireland vs Australia Compromise Rules - Paddies and Ockers have loads in common, like a deep love of gambling, wit/swearing, binge drinking - and sport nobody else plays, ie Gaelic Football and Australian Rules. Enter Compromise Rules, an excuse for a scrap thinly disguised as a sporting event
- 'The Look' - Lance Armstrong gives Jan Ullrich the beat down in the Alps, 2001
- Kiwi Blokes - click on the Chainsaw for everything bloke-like. Actually, the fact you're sat at a computer, and not out drive-by deer hunting in the Holden, means none of this applies
- Consumption photos - this is pretty freaky
- Zinadine's European Cup winning volley vs Bayer Leverkusen - I miss that Spock-like nutter already
- How to get traffic for your blog - and there I was relying on the power of stupidity and laziness...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Bloody proud to be a Kiwi today




Ever since Peter Jackson got famous and started going to the Oscars and that, there's a huge void in New Zealand's splatter/gore/farm animal film canon he pioneered (here's the stupidest / best bit in PJ's Bad Taste). Bollocks to fashion or auction websites, Sheep are still the blimmin' backbone of this country, so I teared up just a little when watching the trailer for upcoming NZ film Black Sheep.

Most NZers have deep, dark issues with these moronic woolly creatures, especially people growing up in rural areas that ate their pet lambs - so seeing our film makers come up with twisted shit like this is hardly surprising. Black Sheep comes out in late March here in New Zealand. Here's the youtubed trailer:

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Flying Nun contest



Russell Brown is having a Flying Nun Moments contest on Public Address System. Har - did you ever spend ages remembering and writing about your fun-filled FN memories and then forget to proof read it before you posted it on a really happening forum read by a whole lot of people you admire? Me too. I even left out the one about meeting Hamish, the Sale of the Century / Mastermind winner at a Garageland show in London. Damn.
Here's mine:

1. Getting Alister Parker to sign my Swervedriver T-shirt after Bailter Space played Gurus. He thought it was funny, I thought he'd had definitely had one or two whiskeys.
2. 3Ds at Ward Lane Tavern - a great band at a great venue.
3. King Loser supporting the Verlaines in the Lounge Bar at Mount Maunganui Tavern. Bizzare venue, but we did get to play air hockey between sets.
4. Driving up to the 10th anniversary concert @ the Powerstation. I got a really cool (actually shit) hooded long sleeve t-shirt that I then wore every day for the next year.
5. Dave Yetton offering the crowd beers at a JPSE show at the Riv. Me mate yelled "WHAT A WANKER" when we missed out, and Dave totally got the wrong end of the stick. (sorry Dave, I loved 'Blow Out Your Candles', though)
6. Bailter Space at the Riv. We showed up at about 9.30 to see them already on stage. Luckily they were only sound checking, and they didn't come on til at least 12. Rock n Roll eh.
7. Going to see JPSE at the Hilly, and getting booted out for being underage before they'd even played a note. Real sickener.
8. Going to see Straightjacket Fits at the Hilly the week of the "eye-gouge" Waikato v Otago NPC final, and Shayne Carter hassling John Mitchell for being bald, which caused Flying Nun cool kid / Mighty Mooloo Man identity crisis for weeks afterward.
9. Seeing Snapper at Oranga, and thinking they were the loudest band I've ever seen.
10. My friend and I racing home from school on our bikes to listen to his brother's DoubleHappys Needles and Plastic EP - then leaving it on the record player in the sun. Cue irreparable warpage, and World War feckin Three when he found it. I always felt really guilty about wrecking a pretty rare bit of vinyl, and almost bought him the re-issued CD... I'm sure he's over it now.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Mark, Mark, Mark...



A Waikato University study has found Mark Ellis reinforces traditional male chauvinist attitudes to women. I've found that most of the time he reinforces being a cock.

Depressingly, every third NZ male wants to be Mark Ellis. Here's how:
1. Make sure you went to Otago Uni in the early 90's. Sorry, 'Tago.
2. Get naked a lot and run really fast. It doesn't matter where, but make sure you get it on tape.
3. Have a troupe of no-names tagging along to laugh at everything you do as though their lives depend on it. See also: Knoxville, Johnny.
4. Spend your journey to work working on your eyebrow raises.
5. Go on TV drunk, that shit is HALARIOUS.
6. Make some extremely unusual choices with your facial hair and clothing.
7. For a signature move, say something unintelligable and then clench your jaw, combined with the eyebrow raise. Don't say anything after that. The public laps that shit right up.
8. Don't be as clever, or as good a bloke, as Ric Salizzo.
9. Interestingly, take drugs with all your celebrity mates.
10. Go to league and be shit.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

My Name's Richard, and I'm a Gutless Scumbag




Matt Gunn has shared his thoughts (audio clip, 938kb - starts about 11 minute mark after Matto gets stood up by Anthony Moss) on my article on Radio Sport. Apparently he'd like to headbutt me!

Now violence doesn't solve anything - but if you'd like a headbutt from Matt, leave your name in the comments.

So yeah, my name's Richard Irvine, Matt, and I was trying to be constructive! Rebuttal on The Silver Fern before too long.